THE SLAPPINATOR Rips Feinstein for ripping Schwarzenegger and for being an election "chicken"  Email  Archives  Print  Reprint

Slappo outlined his 5-point plan today at Toys-R-Us, after many days of questions regarding his views. The punching balloon toy said that he was merely outlining his plan today, and that in the days to come he would flesh out those points.

Appealing to both adult and children in his speech, he said "If I am elected governor of this great state, the first thing on my agenda will be to fire Rep. Jackie Goldberg. She is just not very funny, and swears too much when she is caught doing something your parents would spank you for if you did it. Second, I'm going to tax the Democrats, which is VERY funny. Third, I'm going to order Carol Mosely-Braun to go to Slappo sensitivity training school, where she will learn about all kinds of clowns, and how they are people too. Fourth, I'm going to make going to the dentist less painful for you guys, and Fifth, I'm going to make California FUN again!"

Aides for Governor Davis, who were in attendance said that defeating Slappo would be "challenging" with a platform of such broad appeal. However, "Governor Davis is confident in his appeal to the voters."

In other news across the state, "The Slappinator", speaking at a cyborg covention in San Diego, tore into Sen. Dianne Feinstein today for tearing in Arnold Schwarzenegger's movies, calling her "a tired old sauerbraten", and saying that she should "make shut up mit her pie hole."

"She has gott some nerve, you know, to make comments about other actors, vhen she is die biggest actor in die whole state." He added further, "I always carry a .45 long slide mit the laser sighting, and nobody ever gets shot, unless I am there to, you know..."

The Slappinator has begun to make appearances on behalf of Slappo, sources say, to beef up the affable clown's benign image.

Feinstein had critized Schwarzenegger for his violent action films saying, "Violence begets violence. And you become a role model for someone of lesser maturity out in the street to try to imitate what you do in the movies."

The Slappinator continued on about Feinstein critizing her for everything from taxes to motor voter drives, but reached a pitched fervor when speaking about her refusal to join the fray to unseat the current embattled Governor, Gray Davis. "I think she is a chicken: bok, bok, bok!"

"She cannot handle die truth, you know, dat she vould loose and election against Slappo, and she knows it." The Slappinator took questions afterwards, and was asked about his campaign. "Dis is not my campaign", The Slappinator said. "I can only speak in the imperative about myself, so vhen you vote for me, you vote for Slappo. Chill out."

The Slappinator has come out with campaign slogans, on behalf of Slappo. (news)