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| JEAN-MICHEL SAINT-BERNARD/TOAST |
| Supporters hold banners and cheer at a "Slappo for Governor" rally in Los Angeles. |
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Possible Space Alien’s Bid for California Governor Provokes Ire From Parliament Hill.
OTTAWA, Ont. - As Californians and indeed the rest of the world were still recovering from the shock and awe of a talking punching toy named Slappo making a bid for Governor of California, Prime Minister Jean Chrétien, as well as several Liberal MPs, raised cain on Parliament Hill today calling what appears to be a coverup of Slappo's existence, "unconscionable."
Speaking at a special session of Parliament, the PM, citing news reports and former members of intelligence services, said: "This breach of faith by the Americans is just one in a long line of calculated political snubbery. And, from what I'm told, the governments of Europe and Asia apparently knew about Slappo's existence for some time now. Yet, once again, Canada is left sitting at the children's table. When was the world going to decide, 'Canada needs to know?'".
Stamping his fist on the podium, Chrétien appeared visibly impassioned about the Slappo issue, which was greeted with cheers by Liberal MPs, and Bloc Quebecois members. While the Prime Minister has often been critized for not taking a stance on hot poltical topics, many in Parliament greeted the PM's passion with positive tones.
Paul Martin, the man likely to succeed Chétien after he vacates the office, said he thought the Prime Minister was "right on the money this time. I think the Americans have some serious explaining to do."
While Washington has flatly denied any information about of Slappo's origins, and his sudden appearance on the political stage, one former source at the CIA, who refused to be identified, said that "sometimes its better to let sleeping dogs lie."
After the session today, Liberal caucus chair Stan Keyes said "Canada is a nation. 'Oh Canada, Oh Canada', isn't that what we sing? And as a full-fledged nation, it deserves the respect of other nations to be included in matters which affect the entire world. If it is true that Slappo is a space alien, and the rest of the world knew about him, and said nothing, then I lay blame at the feet of Americans for this. They claim to be at the forefront of democratic open political institutions, but this shows that they have an agenda. An agenda that leaves Canada out, once again."
Ordinary Canadians also seems to feel very passionately about the revelation of Slappo as well. Martin Beloielberman, a Quebecois shopkeeper who uncharacteristically drove down from Hull to see the special session on Parliament Hill, said "I think this Slappo is very important, but what makes me mad is that the Americans have him. Why not Alberta? Why not Quebec? Can we not use such a man in provincial government? He's must be better than who we have already."
"I think he's cute" one coffee lover said, standing at a Tim Horton's. "I'm glad he's a cute alien, and not some thing with pointy teeth. I think he'd probably make a great governor too." A man standing next to her replied, "Only in America, though."
Gray Davis, the current governor of California, the equivalent of a provincial PM, is a facing a recall election for governor after several years of a declining economy, and an energy crisis that forced the state to purchase power at heavily inflated prices. The state, considered the 5th largest economy in the world, has rung up a $38 billion (C$53.2 billion) deficit in 3 years, larger than 75% of the GNP of most worlds nations.
At last count, 135 candidates have come out to challenge Davis, including film action star Arnold Schwarzenegger, child television actor Gary Coleman, self-described "smut peddler" of Hustler Magazine, Larry Flynt, and a porn star, among others.
Not affiliated with The Toronto Star. Not available in Sasketchewan.
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